The Devastating Cut

It was a normal April day. Not much had gone on. I was pregnant as usual. My husband was playing golf as usual. My plans after work were to pick up some sweet snacks for cooper, take him to get his hair cut, go to the grocery store, and then if I still felt like it, go to the gym. How was I to know that the day would be cut short by the "Devastating Cut".

I stopped at the Exxon for my ammunition. I got only the essentials (nutter butters, whoppers, oreos, and apple juice). I picked up Coop at school and headed to the Barber Shop. When I got there everything was normal. Men were getting their hair cut, talking about man things, and Cooper was acting like he owned the place. Steve had no idea what he was in for.

I started with the obvious best ammunition. The Whoopers. Cooper got in the chair and Steve attemped to put a cape on him. It was a no go. That was cool. Who needs a cape anyway? It's a lot more difficult to eat your snack with that on. Then he got out the scissors. That is when the chaos began. Cooper began to act as if bats were trying to attack his head. He swung his elbows to the left. Then the right. He had his eyes on those scissors like he thought they may take on a life of their own and attack him. Meanwhile, he was trying to shove as many Whoopers as he could into his mouth. Screaming and ranting and raving wasn't going to keep him from eatting those whoppers. I tried to distract him, but my efforts were not helping. Steve managed to get the mullet under control. Now it was time for the front and around the ears. I suggested we turn the TV to Sponge Bob Square Pants. I thought for sure this would distract him. By this time, I had given up on the ammunition. Cooper was too smart for this though. He managed to watch TV and the scissors at the same time. I had no idea he was so skilled. The only option I had left was to put the child in a full head and arm lock and allow Steve to finish it up. I knew it was going to be hard and that a lot of screaming was going to be involved, but it had to be done. I had run out out of options so I did it. I told Steve to get ready and I went in for the head and arm lock. I was right about the screaming, but in the end he got the cut. I'm not sure what caused the child to hate hair cuts so bad, but I'm thinking that hair cuts are a father/son activity in the future.